Liberally Conservative

"Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children's children what it was once like in the United States where men were free....... ~Ronald Reagan~

Friday, January 21, 2005

A Break From "Work At Home" Can Be Real Crap

I run a small, very small, fledgling "At Home" business and it takes discipline to apply yourself daily and on weekends to attend to all the hat's worn in this "occupation." A break with a walk in the park or trip to Starbucks for real coffee is a treat and enlightening moment away from well established cabin fever. I am not alone, as I read an article written by freelance author, Evan Coyne Maloney, of Brain Terminal. Fortunately I have yet to have the following "Starbuck's Experience." Here Evan describes an invasion of the "Mommy Brigade." Shortly after the Brigade pushed their fashion strollers through the doors of Starbucks with their forward-leaning determination, they commandeered a set of tables that they pushed into one big island. The strollers were arrayed along the perimeter, while a field marshal--tasked with procuring elaborately-named coffees in small-is-tall doublespeak sizes--scouted about. A reconnaissance officer surveyed the occupancy status of the restroom. A Baby Bearer snuck her little poop-factory a few diagonal feet below my nose. It must have been time for the noise machine to be changed, because before I could lodge a complaint, I detected some nasal evidence that it was being changed. I inquired politely--so politely that you should imagine it said with a British accent--as to whether the adjacent seat had suddenly and without notice become an acceptable baby changing station. I offered that I had first-hand knowledge of a location more suitable for such a pursuit, and that it was conveniently situated within the confines of the store. The mother informed me that the bathroom was presently occupied, a fact that apparently now entitles the Lavatorilly Challenged to treat the rest of the facilities as the facilities. I wondered whether relieving myself in the garbage can next to the condiment station would be an acceptable response next time I encountered a locked bathroom door at Starbucks. A chill settled between us as she finished her wiping and re-wrapping, but I hoped she might at least think twice before subjecting others to the smell of her baby's byproducts and the risk of its flailing frontal apparatus acting like an unexpected lawn sprinkler. As she packed up, another Baby Bearer brought one by and helped the First Offender gather her maternity paraphernalia. The First Offender hopped back to her seat, and the new entrant began spreading pads and mats and wipes around the table and seat. She lowered the Second Defecator towards the mat, and I objected in a way that to her must have sounded like a non-sequitur: "You've got to be kidding me." The Mother of the Second Defecator protested, saying there aren't many places to change a baby in Manhattan, as if having to wait for the bathroom to attend to bodily functions is somehow more of a hardship for a baby than anyone else. If anything, diaper babies and Depends-wearers should have the last claim on any public restroom; at least their tightropes are strung above a safety net. Evan concludes, "These days, it's hard to tell whether we've "progressed" to a point where it is now acceptable to, as the saying goes, eat where you excrete. Both Baby Moms sure acted as though this was the norm, and they made it quite clear that I was in the wrong. I guess that's to be expected from a society where tolerance has been perverted into the right to impose anything you want on others, provided you're in the right constituency." I guarantee you, Evan is much more tolerant and kinder than I would have been having raised to boys through those "formative" years!

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