Liberally Conservative

"Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children's children what it was once like in the United States where men were free....... ~Ronald Reagan~

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

North Beach Diet....Could This Be Nirvana?

The North Beach Diet is now in full publication and available on Amazon and at a bookstore near you. The headline on Amazon.com proclaims, "Add Belly and Hip Fat Instantly with Batter Fried Twinkies and More…" Publisher's Weeks states, "Every day is like Thanksgiving Day on the North Beach Diet," proclaims Bailey's enthusiastic introduction. But readers well-trained in (but sick of) calorie counting and carb cutting may wonder how that's possible. Well, it's pretty easy, actually, since the point of the North Beach Diet is to become as fat and lazy as possible. (It's for those who "dream about what it would be like to be ogled admiringly by people as you sashay down the beach with a giant-size bag of Nutter-Butters in one hand and a large Frosty in another.") Book Description: Atkins, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Low Fat, or the ever-present South Beach all promise the same things—starvation, deprivation, self-denial, unhappiness, irritation, and most importantly, failure as you seek the elusive and unattainable emaciation of Hollywood stars. Why go that tragic route when now you CAN have it all—doughnuts, milkshakes, double meat and cheese burgers, and best of all deep fried snickers bars on the brand new North Beach Diet? Author Kim Bailey, the poster child of this groundbreaking new food plan, says it best... “I gained 145 pounds, became emotionally insulated, and allowed food to control every aspect of my life…now you can too!” This parody of the ubiquitous South Beach Diet celebrates the joys of sugar, butter, and all things carbohydrate. This high-fat, high-salt, real sugar movement is the perfect backlash to the overwhelming barrage of diet plans that dominate bookstore shelves and bedside tables. It is filled with helpful tips, including . . • Slower is always better • Always use food as an emotional outlet • Stressed spelled backwards is desserts And for a great "Virtual" exercise routine called "Body By Cake" :

  • Pie-laties
  • NordicSnack
  • Cap’n Crunches

And the special chapter "Robust Gourmet" :

60 high calorie recipes made with lots of real butter, refined sugar, white flour and chocolate including:

  • Battered Fried Twinkies
  • Biscuits and Chocolate Gravy
  • 7-Layer Nabisco English Trifle
  • Cognac Braised Short-Ribs
  • Buttermilk Vidalia Onion Rings
  • Sweet Potato Pie

Who could ask for more?

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